Dad proposes separating his bickering twin sons by moving one of them into his stepson's room, his wife vetoes the idea immediately: ‘This isn’t my son’s responsibility to fix’

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  • A teen boy puts his head in his hands as he sits down.
  • "AITJ for refusing to let my step-son move into my son's room to ‘solve’ my husband's parenting issue?"

    I (39F) have one child, a 15-year-old son. My husband (42M) has three kids from his previous marriage: twin boys (15) and a daughter (12).
  • We've been married four years, and everyone lives in my house, which I owned before we got married.
  • Right now, the twins share a room, my husband's daughter has her own smaller room, and my son has had his bedroom since he was little.
  • It's always been his space. The problem is the twins constantly clash. It's not normal sibling bickering it's daily screaming matches, broken - belongings, accusations of taking things, and sometimes things "disappearing" altogether.
  • One of the twins in particular has a habit of going through other people's stuff and helping himself.
  • We've replaced headphones, game controllers, clothes - you name it. My husband says he's tried everything and doesn't know how to make it stop.
  • His solution now is to separate the twins by moving one of them into my son's room.
  • I immediately said no. My son has already had issues in the past with that same stepbrother going into his things without permission.
  • I ended up installing a lock on my son's door after an incident with missing money.
  • My husband didn't like that because he felt it sent the message that his kid wasn't trusted ― but frankly, he wasn't acting trustworthy.
  • Now my husband insists the only way to stop the constant fighting is to split the twins up.
  • He says it's unfair that my son gets his own room while his boys have to share.
  • I told him this house has always been my son's home and his room isn't up for negotiation.
  • A woman faces away from her husband as he creates distance between them in an argument.
  • I suggested other arrangements - rotating rooms, putting the 12-year- old in with one twin and the other twin alone, even converting the den temporarily.
  • He shot all of that down. He said mixing the boys and their sister was "absolutely not happening" and that my refusal to give up my son's room shows I don't treat his kids equally.
  • The argument escalated. I told him this isn't my son's responsibility to fix and that he needs to address the behavior problem instead of reshuffling rooms.
  • He accused me of being selfish and unsupportive. He even packed a bag and left to stay with a friend, saying he can't live in a house with constant chaos and that he won't come back until I reconsider.
  • He asked me if this was really the stand I wanted to take. I told him yes.
  • I'm not willing to sacrifice my son's sense of security because he doesn't want to deal with his kid's behavior.
  • He's been gone for a couple days now. The fighting between the twins is still happening, and I'm stuck in the middle of it.
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